Her Dangerous Promise, Still Homeless

This weekend I got a vibe. I thought it meant the agent was reading my Secrets of The Dark submission. Then on Monday, I got the vibe the reply was in the mail. I felt it was a big envelope, which meant a rejection, because they were returning the manuscript. I've been a bundle of nerves until today, when the big envelope arrived.

How's that for psychic?

Only the envelope was from Kensington, not the agent. Kensington passed on Her Dangerous Promise, but gave me a really nice personal note.

Here's what she said:

"Thanks very much for the look as HER DANGEROUS PROMISE, which I read with interest, although I'm sorry to say no. You have a very good sense of pace, an all-important quality in a thriller, but what this romantic suspense lacked was atmosphere and grit. It comes down to making the most of odd details, really -- and also picking the details that will send a shiver down the reader's spine. Okay, I'm talking movies now, but what I mean is this: the shower curtain in the shower scene in PSYCHO is only a piece of vinyl... but oh, does the viewer remember Anthony Perkin's side of it... and Janet Leigh's side... down to the drops on her face as she screams. Water? Tears?

Your story has a similiar quality to that horror classic but you pulled back once too often when you should have zoomed in. Good try, though. Pace is one of those things that's impossible to teach -- writers either have it or they don't. And you do, so you're off to a great start.

End quote

That's a long and very nice note. It would have been nice if she asked for edits instead of rejecting it. Oh, well. It is still a good step forward from the form letter rejection.

So now I have to bundle the manuscript back up and figure out where to send it next.